Schedule? What's A Schedule?

Hello again!! I have been meaning to touch base for a while now but honestly have been at max level busy. A lot of new things have developed and I can't wait to share it all with you.

Can I be honest here with you? The last few months have all been a crazy blur. Another honest truth is... well... I just hate the holidays. Phew, I said it. Now let me explain why before you start calling me a Mr. Scrooge. As an adult with children I feel like the holidays have changed. Our culture in America has shifted. As an adult, now I have things like Facebook and Pinterest to keep me on my toes. Not only am I expected to go above and beyond for holidays, I now have to do it like Martha Stuart! Don't get me wrong, I love being able to share with friends and family through social media but most of the time it is overwhelming. I get to see what all the other "good" moms are doing with their kids. I see all of the projects I should be doing. I see how beautifully decorated other people's houses are and the ugly comparison monster in me comes out. This year has just been so exhausting from selling our home, to moving in our new home, to our new adventure in homeschooling, and all the other things we are involved in. On top of that, we decided to get pregnant! How crazy am I?? So, when I see all of the things I would love to do with my family, it just wasn't possible this year. That really just makes me feel like a crappy mom and I have been living in this mental state of hating myself for the last few months.

This year the holidays just served as a reminder for all the things I couldn't do or buy for my friends and family and that really bums me out. Now I know the holidays aren't "supposed" to be about what you buy for people but there is definitely a level of expectation as an adult. I hear, ya. I could just make gifts for everyone I love and show my love through the time I spent on projects or goodies. That was my plan too, but I guess God had a different plan for us this year as I got the horrible stomach flu the weekend before Christmas (all while still in my first trimester!) I wasn't able to do hardly any of the projects or gifts I had in mind. This just added to my already built up feelings of worthlessness.

So, I get it. Everyone feels this way once and a while. I know that. I also know what scripture says about my worth in the eyes of the Lord and that brings me some comfort. I know that this is just a phase that I need to pass through and know that next year will be better but I also know I need to take steps to bring me out of this funk.

Last week was the last week of vacation, so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to start getting my act together. I have been having some issues with my children this last month as well, and I believe lack of a routine was a huge factor in that. So the first thing on my list was to make a schedule (something I have never done before) for our family throughout the school week. This is huge for us. While we like to maintain a routine with the kids, we have never set a schedule in writing before.

I am so excited to start our routine (which we did as of today) because of the new time management I will be using with the whole family. One huge factor in this is my excessive use of social media throughout the day, as well as the excessive use of technology. I believe this has had an impact on me and the kids heavily. The best thing about a smart phone is the ease of use. Everything is at your fingertips. This is also a downfall. If I am texting someone throughout the morning, it literally can take up a ton of my morning by reading and responding every time my phone beeps at me. Same with social media. So one thing I have implemented in our new schedule is a technology free morning. From 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon I will have my computer shut down and my phone turned off.

This morning proved to be a success! I was able to focus on everyone's needs, all while getting school work done for both of my oldest children. I was able to complete all of my first graders school work plus I was able to work with my preschooler with her letters! I really felt like I was able to breathe them in. To soak up every moment with them and to truly be engaged with what we were doing.  It was pretty awesome and I think they noticed a difference too! (Did I mention I was happier and less on edge, too?)

Another thing I have added to the schedule is a specific chore time. We never really had issues with chores before until my 4 year old got old enough to start helping more and when she wasn't.... well, that just ticked my oldest off. Obviously it is not fair to have her do all of the work just because she listens and does it. So something had to change. This time I made lists. I made colorful, graphic lists that were specific to each room. The pictures are easy to "read" for my 4 year old and a description is given for further instructions for my 6 year old. This way they know exactly what to do in each room. Each day I have an hour for chore time. In this time I expect 2 rooms to be completed. Today worked out great! It took a little longer because I had to take the time to show them exactly how I wanted the rooms to be cleaned but did I get any resistance? Nope! None! Although, I did get an eye roll once from my 4 year old but hey, I'll take it! They both were excited and helped each other through each room. Best part of it is knowing I am teaching them skills that will be useful their whole life! Now that is something you can't get out of a book!

I am only half way through this first day but I will admit, I feel a ton better. I haven't left much time for extras throughout the week, though, and I think that means I will have to cut out a few other things but if it means a better home life here, I will take it... So, that is what we have been up to, cause I know ya'll have been wondering! And as of today, I am 11 weeks along and heard the baby last week! Love you guys and thanks for baring with me!

How I Am Able To Stay At Home (and YOU can too!)

I've wanted to write this blog for quite a while. This is for all you momma's out there who have it in your heart to be a stay at home mom but don't know if you can afford it or where to even start. Or if you are just curious on how we make it off one income, feel free to read on! I feel very strongly about this topic, as it has done great things for our family. I also know that there are moms out there that have no desire to stay at home and those moms who simply cannot. To those women, rock on! But, this blog post is not for you...

When my husband and I first decided that I would stay at home with the kids, it was mostly because it was cheaper for me to stay at home. I was working a part time job paying minimum wage. While I loved that job, it wasn't practical to waste the gas to get to work, then only work a few hours and drive back home, all while paying a babysitter to watch my daughter (she was two years old and I was about to have baby number two!) I was not making enough money to cover my gas each week, let alone pay a sitter. So, as a family, we decided it would be best for me to stay home. After that, things changed very fast in our life. Things were harder, we now had to adjust to having another baby in the house, but everything started falling into place.

Here are a few things we do that saves us money:

• Quit Smoking and Drinking- These were the very first things we did for ourselves to save money (and our health!) We were tired of being slaves to the tobacco companies; always NEEDING a cigarette drove us both nuts! Any one thing you absolutely cannot live without, is probably taking over your life and you should probably evaluate that thing that is controlling you. Not to mention, we were paying for it! When we stopped smoking, cigarettes were about $5 a pack. We smoked a pack and a half a day. Combined, that is $15 a DAY! That calculates to about  $465 a month! That doesn't include the smoking we did at parties or when we were really stressed out. Plus we were drinking on top of that! If you calculate our weekly bottles ($15 per bottle per week = $60 per month) not including the occasional beers my husband would buy. Add it all together, we were paying over $525 a month for recreational hazards that had a greater control over us than we did of them! That was our house payment! Now, I don't know what your situation is personally, but if these things are stopping you from being the person you want to be and being at home with your children, I would highly suggest getting help to stop using these products. 
• Cable/ Internet/ Cell Phones- This is a harder area to address for most younger people. For most of us, we grew up with cable, had the internet (when it came out LOL) and have always had cell phones (again when they came out.) So most young people just cannot imagine living without these things. I am here to tell you, you can live with out them or at least get a cheaper plan. We have been without cable for years and honestly, I never miss it! If we have the t.v. on, its usually on P.B.S. kids and I couldn't be happier. No commercials begging for my kids attention! Plus, for the most part, it is educational. At night, we leave the t.v. off and read books! We do have the internet because my husband goes to school online for his degree but we have the lower speed internet and works just fine for our needs. We are also currently shopping around for a new cell phone plan because the one we have makes us feel like slaves to the giant cell phone company. We have found plenty of cheaper options through companies who aren't quite as big.
• Fast Food and Restaurants- I will admit this one is very difficult for me personally because I HATE to cook! I know, surprising, but I do. Actually, the only enjoyment I get out of it is seeing my husband happy to come home to a warm meal and the quietness of my children joyfully eating a home-cooked meal! But I must say, now that we live out in the country, we are not as tempted to buy quick meals like we were when we lived in town. Things that help this momma out when I really don't want to cook, is to make frozen meals in advance. These are meals that can be thrown in the crockpot and left by itself. See previous blog post here for some ideas and a link for recipes. Also, being able to stay at home has allowed me the time to prepare meals everyday. Don't get me wrong, we still eat out on occasion (which is like heaven to me) but try to eat in most of the time. I can feed this family of five a whole week on what it would cost us one night out to a simple restaurant like Applebees.
• Brand Name Clothes- For us, we mostly shop bargains in this area. I usually only buy things that are on sale for any of us. We will do about once a year where the kids will get a few new outfits but most of the play clothes the kids get are from garage sales. That way when they play in them, I am never worried about them getting ripped or stained. For myself, I stick with basics. I have a ton of plain white shirts and plain black shirts. I always have a couple of favorite jeans and a hand full of comfy yoga pants. When you are a stay at home mom, there isn't the greatest need to dress to impress! I love and hate this part because on the days I do want to dress up, I only have a few options but this never bothers me enough that I want to go back to work. Spending an endless amount of money on clothes has never appealed me. Do I like to look nice? Yes. Do I need to spend a bunch of money on clothes to make myself feel good? No. This may be harder for others in this area than it is for me. 
• Mani's/ Pedi's/ Hair Cuts/ Tanning- While I like a good pampering just like the next gal, I truly think regular manicures/ pedicures are simply wasteful. You can accomplish similar results with little effort at home. Buy a few good nail polishes and invest in some good clippers and files. Hair cuts are another thing I try to limit myself on. I have long hair with a natural color to maintain as little maintenance as possible. While I splurge every once and a while with a cute cut and color, I limit it to about once or twice a year. Tanning is probably the biggest waste of money I can imagine for a young mom who is trying to stay at home with her kiddos. Not only is it horrible for your health but it wastes time and gas. Invest in a good bronzing lotion or makeup if you want glowing skin. Or you can rock out the pale look, like I do! Your skin will thank you in about 20 years! This all being said, gift certificates for these services make great presents to the stay at home mommas for the occasional pampering we DO deserve! 
• In Home Date Nights- Dates are very important for healthy relationships of all types, especially for parents! You don't have to spend a lot of money on dates, though! My husband and I do a lot of stay at home date nights and we usually have a better time because we know we are saving money! We plan a movie night together and load up on the ice cream and popcorn. Or we simply stay up late talking to one another about things going on in our lives. These dates really help us stay connected to one another! We try and come up with new ideas, like picnic's in the living room. It doesn't always turn out how we think it will but just being together is fine with us! We really hate spending a ton of money on a babysitter, and on an expensive dinner, and all the extras that come with going to a movie. *Grandparents are great for helping watch our kids occasionally but we really don't like to depend on them just to save ourselves money. So I don't recommend using them unless they offer to keep from abusing them. Remember, they are a couple and need their own date nights, too!*
• Plan Your Gas Usage- I try to plan out my in town trips. This saves us a ton of gas! We try to do our shopping all on one day or make the least amount of trips needed. Plan out a route of places that are all in the same area. I also do a ton of online shopping, especially around the holidays. You can usually find some great deals with free shipping!
• Keep Debt Down- I first want to say, we by no means are debt free, however, we try and keep our debts low. If you don't have a credit card, I advise not to get one! Don't buy anything you don't have money for. If you already have debt, like most of us, I recommend seriously looking into Dave Ramsey's debt snowball plan. You can find it here. Also recommend his book that helps you get on the right track. We are still learning in this area, but have made great strides! 

The last thing I can say about saving money would be, let things go that aren't absolutely necessary. It is easy in our society to think we NEED certain things in our life to be happy. I have to ask myself often if I can live without it. One thing that I really like doing is decorating but we do a lot of homemade things when it comes to decorating our home. This also works great for gifts as well. Get crafty! And if you aren't naturally crafty, ask a friend to help! You would be surprised by all that you can do with what you already have!

I also want to tell you a few positives I have noticed out of our family since staying home.

One of the first things I noticed, was a division of duties in our house. Before, we would fight over who did what in the house. Since we both worked, we both felt like we needed a break and the other should do more work around the house. There was always tension and chaos. Nothing would get done and if it did, the person who completed the task felt like they needed a big ol pat on the back for doing the job. Since staying home, my husband and I agreed that I would do most of the house work while home. Seems like a fair trade to me. He goes to work 12 hours a day, and I keep the house clean (as clean as one can with three kids running around destroying it!) I rarely complain about dirty socks on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. I simply pick them up and clean it because I consider it my responsibility. This has taken a huge load off of my husband. I no longer bug him to clean (although he is a great help when I really do need help with it.) I also get a huge amount of appreciation when he comes home from work and sees a nice, warm meal on the table waiting for him! No more fighting over who has to cook or who goes to pick up food! Everyone is happy when the bellies are full!

Another huge positive thing for our family is knowing where our children are during the day. We couldn't stand the thought of them being with someone else for the majority of the day. While there is nothing wrong with having trusted family and friends watching your kids, we just decided that the only way to ensure that the right things were being established in our kids, was taking that responsibility upon ourselves. That way, if they are misbehaving, the only people to look at for correction would be ourselves. This has proven to be successful so far. We get a lot of compliments on how well behaved our children are! Toot, toot! (Yes, I am tooting my own horn!)

Since I am at home now, another huge, positive impact on our family has been in our choice to follow Christ. This has allowed me to be active at our church. I am able to be on the women's ministry team and help plan out event's at our church. I have been able to go to bible study every week to really dive into the bible! I have been able to meet other young, christian moms who believe in the same things we believe in. They have made a huge impact on our lives! They are there for us with encouragement and they even have been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. They have brought us meals in times of need. They even have helped us paint our kitchen to help us sell our old house! Having our church family has enriched our lives beyond anything we could imagine! I have also had the confidence, through them, to homeschool my children! This was a huge choice for us that could only be accomplished by me being able to stay home. I love being my daughter's teacher and provider. I love watching her grow and learn. I love seeing her question our faith and being able to work through those questions together. I love being that person for her!

Although we may not have all the things that we could if I worked, I wouldn't trade it for the happiness and peace our family has now. The things we have now, far surpass the materials things we don't. For some, it takes a lot of sacrificing but I am here to assure you, it is worth it! Cut back on a few things and you might be surprised what you can make happen! 

Seriously though, when I am having a rough day and think that getting a job to earn extra money would be the answer to all my problems, I like to think about the future. When I am 60 years old and my kids have all grown up and are out of the house, will I miss the cable t.v. that I didn't get to watch? Or will I miss all the clothes I never owned? Will I be thinking about that awesome car I could have had, that now is worth nothing? I really don't believe I will. I think I will look back and be glad to say I was able to spend as much time with my kids as I could, while I could. (Hopefully I won't remember all the dirty clothes and dishes though!) Hahaha! 

I pray this post has been an encouragement to those of you who are thinking about becoming a stay at home mom!

Children of the World Choir Tour Part Two

Continued from previous post...

The next day, we headed to the Children's Zoo here in town. We were all very excited because we had not been able to go at all this year! It is also a really fun time to visit the zoo because they decorate it with all kinds of pumpkins and gourds!

Woah! That's a lot of pumpkins!!

It was exciting to see the kids get excited, too! They decided, of course, that they wanted to visit "Africa" first. The kids already knew the lions were my favorite and Jemimah said it was her favorite as well! It turned out to be a perfect day to visit the animals because it was kind of chilly in the morning and was a little overcast, so most of the animals were out and about!

Our very first stop was a the sky safari ride! This ride takes you up in the air on a ski lift up and over the animals through out the exhibit. Sounds really exciting to me, but alas, we have always had a child too little to ride and mommy always gets to stay with the baby. So, my husband took our two girls up on the ride! They looked like they had a blast!

So, we continued on down the African exhibit and found our way in and out of the hyena's den and ventured to the lion's den. We were able to see the lion up close! The kids really got a kick out of that! (Okay, maybe I did too!) Next on our list was the giraffes! I was able to catch this awesome picture of Jemimah right in front of them!

They all were so close to us! I thought one might snatch up my camera!

Next up, was the Indonesian Rain-forest section. The kids were actually able to touch a hedgehog and got to see the really cool snakes and the komodo dragon!

While in the Indonesian area, we were able to see the orangutans! They were out and eating some lunch. They seemed to be very happy and active!

We continued through the forest area and headed out, as our bellies started to rumble! We made it all the way to the Australian exhibit for lunch! The kids all had wonderfully packed lunches for the day and was pretty awesome to see them eat all the different varieties of food that was in there! Some kids liked the whole pea pods, others liked the apples. My kids, of course, ate all of it! Hahah!

We had spent nearly the whole day at the zoo, and were just starting to get tired when we found out we would be taking a ride on the train! Instantly we were all in a better mood! It was also the first train ride for my handsome little boy and he did so well sitting in the seat like a big boy! He got so excited that he didn't want to get off when it was time!

After the train, we all had time for one more group shot and took off for home. My youngest desperately needed a nap and mommy needed a break too! My husband took us home and dropped us off while he took the girls back up to the park for a little more play time! He is such a saint for letting me rest when I need it. Always taking on extra so I don't get too exhausted. I am so thankful for that!

We only were able to rest for a few hours though because the kids had to be back at the church for sound check and dinner before there performance. It was a long night after a long day but finally we were able to see the kids perform! Let me tell you, it was awesome! They were all dressed up in their native costumes and danced and sang their hearts out! It was adorable and heartbreaking at the same time. We were able to see a few videos on the conditions of their homes before they come into the choir.

The videos were the hardest to watch because we were able to get to know these kids all day long and then we were able to see what life was really like for them back home. Most of the kids did not have mothers or fathers and were on their own from an early age. Another video showed us a man and his ministry of saving babies from starvation and death in the mountains of Guatemala. What really made me cry was my oldest leaned over and hugged me saying, "Mommy, this is so sad. This is about babies dying." Then at the end of the video we were given the opportunity to give towards helping save the babies and she said, "Oh I get it. We are supposed to help those babies!" Wow! What a profound thing for a 6 year old to say! Sounds to me like she was really "getting it" and will be a great help in the future for ministries such as this!

Anyway, I think the night was just awesome! Our church had provided food for the night as well, and it included meals from all over the world! A lot of people had joined us for the night, so I would say it was a success!

Children of the World Choir visit Part One

Part One

Hello, again! It is finally my favorite month of the year, October! And we have already had a very busy month! Last week, as some of you may know, we hosted two little girls from the Children of the World Choir. I would like to share a little bit of my experience with all of you who are interested.

It all started at bible study a few weeks back. I got a note from our creative arts director to come see him in his office. If any of you have ever received a note asking you to come to anyone's office, you can probably guess as to how I was feeling. Of course, I was nervous to see what he wanted from me and was hesitant to enter his office. He greeted me with a friendly hello and proceeded to ask me if I knew anything about the upcoming choir visit. Feeling relieved that I was not in any sort of trouble, replied with a sort of, not really kind of answer. He then asked me if my husband and I would be interested in hosting two kids for a few nights in our home while the choir visited our church. A new twinge hit my stomach. Doubt flooded my mind as I thought of taking in two children from somewhere around the world into my home. My husband was at home sleeping at the time, so I was unable to give an answer right at that moment. I did need to give him an answer by that day, though, so I did not have much time to pray about the decision to be made. As I drove home from bible study, I prayed for the right thing to do and almost immediately felt the nudge I needed.

Of course we would take in these kids! How could we not? We were offered two little girls who would be right around the age of our oldest daughter and knew we should jump at the chance to do this. Little did we know just how big of an impact these precious children would have on our hearts.

So, last week was the big week! We were to pick them up Tuesday night and feed them dinner. I had prepared all day for their arrival. I had packed up all three kids to go grocery shopping, made some wise choices on meals for the week, and cleaned the house to get ready for them. Normally when someone comes to visit, I get very anxious and the house is usually chaotic before the event. Knowing this would probably happen, I prayed. I prayed for peace as I prepared my home for such little guests. And I can honestly say, I DID have peace that day! Normally going to the store with three kids and a mountain of groceries is so overwhelming for me I don't dare attempt it without my husband, but this day went rather smooth and I was excited! So were my kids! It was all they could talk about! In fact, they were quite the helpers that day.

I was even more nervous as the time got closer to picking them up because my husband was going to be working up until the time I brought them home. But once again, I packed all three kids up, made sure to grab the stroller and headed out. All the host families gathered in our huge "gym/auditorium" and awaited instruction. There we got to meet one of the directors, Auntie Ashley. She prepared us for what was to come, gave us our schedule for the week, and let us ask questions we had regarding the children. I then found out my girls' names: Jenny (from the Philippines) and Jemimah (from Uganda) and saw their little faces jump up to greet us! We quickly said hello, then were instructed to grab suitcases and head for the doors. They were so efficient. They knew exactly which luggage was theirs (they were all standard black suitcases) and was soon trailing quickly behind me to our van, all with huge grins on their faces. We loaded up the van and headed for home.

My husband had made it home just in time to meet the girls before dinner. They were instructed to call us "Auntie and Uncle" during their visit because they visit so many families during their tour. When I introduced "Uncle Dustin" they thought that was so funny because the director's husband's name had been Dustin as well. (This was something they cracked up over all week.) I had made homemade chicken noodle soup for our dinner because I had no idea what they were used to eating and didn't want to make anything that would be too harsh on their stomachs. Boy, that was a huge hit! Each and everyone of us finished our bowls in record time! I asked them if they had liked it, to which they replied yes. I learned that Jenny's favorite food in the Philippines was chicken and rice and Jemimah stated her favorite food was pizza. I figured I was off to a good start!

After dinner, I let the kids get to know each other a little better and let them loose in the yard to play. They ran to our little red wagon and insisted that everyone took turns going up and down the driveway while they pulled. This held their attention until it was dark outside. It was so awesome to see two little pale, redheads running around giggling and laughing with these girls that only knew just enough English. They all seemed to get along great together and I knew the week would be one to remember.

I hurried the kids inside to get washed up for bed. Each girl took their sweet time in the bathroom washing up and getting ready for bed. I think they enjoyed the little time to themselves while in the bathroom. Once everyone was washed and ready for bed, we laid our queen sized air mattress on the floor next to our daughter's bed. I tucked them all in and was told by Jemimah what order we would pray in before bed. I leaned in, as close as I could, to hear the sweet prayers of these girls but still could not catch it all. I closed in prayer and was surprised with big hugs from them both.....

A Reflection

So here it is, Friday. The last day of the first month of our journey with homeschooling. I am going to take a moment to just reflect on everything we have done. When I started this journey, I had no idea what I was doing or how I would do it. Today, I am more confident than I was over a month ago but there is still room to grow.

Things have been pretty crazy around here. I have had to balance not only school work for my oldest, entertain my middle child, but also chase around a one year old toddler! On top of that, there is still house work to keep up on (eating at home with three kids all day, every day, can sure make a mess!) I still have piles of laundry to do and toys to pick up. There is also a need for keeping up on bills (believe me, I would put it off if I could!) I also have to find time to grocery shop for my large eaters and make runs into town for whatever else the week calls for. Plus the play dates, my mom group, bible study, and women's ministry. Don't forget the need to bathe the kids as well! That one is a stinky one to forget and seems like it needs done more often than not!

I would have to say, this is definitely the hardest part for me. I am used to doing what needs to be done, when it needs done and having the freedom to do so. To be put on a schedule is very difficult to do with kids. I am one tantrum or evaded nap away from having my whole day thrown of course! I have such high expectations for myself and am often left feeling unaccomplished and exhausted. I have to learn to accept that things may not go as I had planned. Which is becoming easier but at the same time, I feel like I am lowering my standards. I don't want to give myself so many breaks that I begin to start slacking off.

A perfect example of that is exercising. When we moved into our new house, I had this goal of at least doing some cardio every day. Should be easy, right? I mean, I have a basement now filled with exercise equipment and an awesome treadmill. I love working out, so it should be easy! Wrong! It seems every morning I plan to wake up early, one of the kids wakes up in the middle of the night, or something keeps me awake. It becomes impossible for me to look at my alarm with red swollen eyes, and think getting up early to exert myself even more is a good idea. I would be crazy (if I wasn't already!) Ha! So then, I start my day off already disappointed in myself. The day always seems to get filled too fast and that late day exercise I thought I would be able to squeeze in, just doesn't happen. I know that I must not give up on this though! If I give up on trying to make it happen, it never will!

As far as schooling goes though, life is great! Things are moving right along in class and my daughter seems to love it! I can see her vocabulary growing, and her spelling skills sharpening! She is learning to write sentences with subjects and predicates, quotation marks, and punctuation marks. She has successfully memorized Psalm 1:1-4 already, and is still going! We are starting to finish up our first round of books, one including Charlottes's Web. And she is still flying through her math each day!

Now if some how, I could transform into some sort of super mom and get all the rest of the stuff done, that would be awesome! But for now, I will focus on what I CAN do, strive for what I WANT to do and laugh if I don't always get it all done.

I want to say thank you for all of you who keep reading this blog and giving me words of encouragement! It means the world to me! Love you! 

A Painting Day!

Just wanted to share a few pictures from a fun project we got to do together today! We learned about women who make "batik" which is cloth designed with candle wax and then dyed to make neat patterns. We decided to do a few paintings using this same technique with a white crayon and water colors!

Letting Go of Control

I am finding that sticking to one solid schedule is just not going to work for this family. Between my full of life one year old, different projects around the house, bible studies, and mom groups, I just don't see us being able to stick to an everyday plan.

Life is too short and I need to learn to be more flexible. Oh, that's a scary word. Flexible. Go with the flow. See where life takes you. I am most definitely NOT that kind of a person. I have to plan. It is the one thing I usually try and hold on to when things start to get hard. It is also the exact way the Lord works within me as well. He knows I like to hold on to control. I cling to it. Most often during the times when I really have no control at all.

So when something little comes along and changes the plan up even the tiniest bit, I usually start to unravel. This has been happening a lot lately with all the new challenges I have in my life right now. I have realized that I need to let go of the need to control and give it to the One who really is in control. Of course, anyone who has tried to overcome this battle, knows that we need daily reminders to give it back to the Lord. For He is the one who holds my life in His hands.

I have also learned the only true way to feel peace over the matter is to surround myself with God's truth. What does the Lord say about me and my life? Why am I so special? What makes Him think that I can DO this?

What makes ME so special? - "What is the price of five sparrows? A couple of pennies? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows." Luke 12:6-7

What gives me the confidence about what I am doing in my life?- "...I have been sent to bring faith to those God has chosen and teach them to know the truth that shows them how to live godly lives. This truth gives them the confidence of eternal life, which God promised them before the world began- and he cannot lie." Titus 1:1-2

What makes Him think that I can DO this??- "For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need." Philippians 4:13

After diving in and reading the truths, I always feel better. I am so thankful to have the word of the Lord with me here and to have it to read when I need it the most. So even when I feel like the day has completely overwhelmed me, I know that I am doing exactly what God has called me to be doing right now. Sometimes JUST being a good mother is enough. I know that we moms strive to be the best mom out there, running here, going there. Having to always feel like we are doing something productive with our time. The truth is, God loves you! Even in your "off" days.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Week Two

It must have been Monday today because everything seemed a little "off" today. Today my confidence was no where to be found and I caught myself being anxious while trying to get through lessons. I think what made today so rough was "working" on through the weekend with no real break. I started homeschooling as soon as our books came without any prep as well. So, you guessed it, I had the overwhelming feeling of not getting things done that I needed to.

It was just one of those days that I knew was bound to happen. I have prepared myself to expect hard days and I also expected days where I just don't feel confident enough to do this. Here is the good news though, instead of dwelling on the horrible feelings I could feel brewing in me all day, I chose to remember that I didn't need to be a perfect teacher or mom or wife right at this moment and I knew better days are coming. I remembered why I felt the calling for this position and not every mom can be super mom ALL the time! (Even though some of you put on a good front!)

I also decided that a few things I could go without doing today. Like the dishes... Thank you Lord for paper products!! Haha... But seriously, I focused on the important things like school work and one important goal I wanted to reach this week: gym time!

I bought a family fitness book along with our curriculum and have been gathering ideas to start some training this week. I made a fitness chart and we are tracking our progress as a family.We just started with a few basics like sit-ups and push-ups. Tonight we were finally able to put it into action and the whole family participated! It was so much fun! And kind of hard. And reminded me I am not so young and fit anymore. I am really excited to see where we improve over the next year and to see what all my littles learn.  It was great to be able to show the kids how to do basic fitness but it was also fun for the whole family! It was especially funny to everyone when my youngest decided I needed more resistance when he jumped on my back during superman's! (Good thing he is cute!)

After all the structured "gym class" time was over, my hubby took the kiddos out in the yard for some soccer time! We kicked the ball around in a circle and practiced big kicks! He also made them run races around the back yard (which tuckered me out!) We ended the night on the trampoline (as most nights end) and the kids decided mommy had "Ogre" feet because mine were the only feet without shoes on them and they were horribly dirty! Hahaha!

Bad day turned great night! : )

P.S. My legs are killing me = Success!!

The End of a Good Week

Today was our last day of catching up on school work and was technically the end of the school week! Yay! We successfully completed on whole week! I a couldn't be more proud of my baby girl! Today was the last day of learning her verse of the week. She did so well! I recorded it (of course) to show all of you! Please show this girl some love! She did awesome this week! : )

My other daughter wanted to be in the spotlight as well! So here is her video!

Busy Weekend

This is our first weekend since starting school and I must say, it is a long one! We have to spend the weekend catching up on school work since the books didn't come until the middle of the week. Plus, now that we have been homeschooling every day, our normal day to day chores have been put to the side while we try to find a balance in our new routine.

So you can probably guess that today involved a lot of cleaning! My girls are such big helpers when it comes to chores, so they worked on the upstairs while I did a lot downstairs. This is awesome! And I plan on cherishing every minute of it! I know a day will come when they aren't so excited to "help" mommy.

After all that cleaning, my little boy was getting tired and was ready for a nap! Woohoo! Extra time to get school work done! Today was a little more laid back, since technically it IS the weekend! So we breezed through our work and my little student made sure to let me know that she already knew all of this easy stuff... LOL!

I must admit, I had a bigger agenda for the day than just school work. I went to the store yesterday and bought all the ingredients I needed for about 6 frozen meals. I found a pretty straight forward Pinterest pin with lots of easy meals in it and was excited to try my hand at some more "simple" meals!

You can find all the recipes I used today here.

With my little one still sleeping, this was a great time to try and squeeze some cooking in! And we ended up getting ALL six meals DONE!! Rose was my special helper for the project and she did a great job mixing and pouring! I love it! I am excited to try some new meals and all I have to do is throw them in the crock pot! This should make next week even easier for me and adjusting to our new schedule...

She was pretty excited to be helping!!

Now I am relaxing just a bit before the Little wakes up and the girls are dancing to Just Dance on the Wii. What a beautiful Saturday to get things done! Still more cleaning to do, but am feeling blessed to have such little helpers to get it all done with! Love you girls!!

A Sweet Blessing

Thought I would share a sweet little blessing today. We were in the middle of doing our bible time/prayer time when I asked the girls what they wanted to pray for. My little preschooler sat thinking for a moment, then jumped up exclaiming, "I know! We could pray for sissy's boo boo!!" My heart leaped with joy. My eldest daughter had just gotten a huge cut on the bottom of her foot from running around outside barefoot and was pretty upset by it. So it was sweet to see how caring she was being to her sister and it also reminds me I am doing a good job that she can recognize someone else's needs before her own. After she led our prayer, they hugged! Thank you Lord for these sweet little girls!

Day Two

Day 2:

While I realize that I probably won't be able to blog every day about what we do and how things are going, I do want to make an effort and recording this precious time I have with my children. So here is how today went!

We have been starting with our core curriculum which contains our bible studies, literature readings, and history/geography. This has been very interesting to me! First, I must admit, I really don't know what to pray for with my kids some of the time but with this guiding me, it has been fun! This week we are praying for tribes all around the world who have not heard the news of Jesus Christ! I am almost positive I would not have thought of this by myself. This is also great for teaching the kids to pray for others. For literature, we have started reading Charlotte's Web. This is pretty hefty reading for my young ones but so far my first grader is following along really well (snuggled up beside me) and understanding what is happening in the story. My tongue also has been getting lots of exercise with reading out loud so much, but honestly, I think its good for both of us! History and geography has started off reading about the first people of the world and the main types of races. We have also read about different countries, flags, and currency! I have a feeling all of this is going to perk some interest in world traveling before too long!

We did get my youngest to take a nap during all this fun, so we ended up getting all of our morning work done within a few hours!

Our afternoons have consisted of math so far. I've tried to block out a bigger time frame for this because I know how challenging math can be for some kids. So far, we have breezed through the first few worksheets in under a half an hour! So far she has "learned" number place, and order. Both being entirely too easy for her but I am sticking to the plan trying not to zoom ahead.

So far, so good! I am absolutely loving this calling of mine! Thank you Lord, for this opportunity to stay at home with these great kids! I pray now for the rough times ahead. May I be able to look back at this post and remember all the wonderful things I love about what I am doing. I pray I never take this time for granted and hope I can breathe through the challenges. Lord lead me!

P.S. My little first grader has already memorized Psalm 1:1! Awesome to see that in action! : )

The Start of a New Journey

Hello friends and family and new visitors to my blog! It has been a little while since my last post and a LOT has happened this past year. So hold on tight with me on this new journey we have started: homeschooling!

To catch those of you up who don't know what this last year has consisted of for our family, let me clue you in. At the beginning of this year, my husband and I decided to really get serious about selling our home (as if we weren't serious already.) We decided to drop the price about $8,000 from where we originally wanted to sell at. With this drop in price, we had to really take a leap of faith and let God control what happened next. I am so glad we decided to take that risk, because around the first week of April, we got and accepted our first offer!

It was around this same time frame that I began praying about school options for our oldest daughter. She had been in public school kindergarten and while she loved it, I hated it. Let me just say one thing, it wasn't one teacher or one incident that I hated because really, the school itself was fine. The hardest part for me was sending her away all day to people I have never even met before. I just could not get around this fact! I felt like the weird mom who didn't trust anyone. While apart of that is true, (there is a lot of people in this world not to trust,) I really just wanted to be the one who taught her things and got to see her learn and grow everyday. I did not want to hear these things about my child from someone else. So what options did I have? Homeschool? I thought, "Wow, now you really are nuts." But I prayed anyway.

Well, after quite a while of praying, the Lord answered my prayers! He set a resounding "YES!" In my heart for homeschooling. After that decision, everything started to fall into place. We sold the house, and things got really hard after that. There was quite a gap between selling our home (and leaving it) to finding and actually moving in to our new home. This also included staying with my in laws for two months with my family of five living on their back porch in the heat of the summer. I will admit, there was a ton of doubt in there! I thought maybe I should just get a job and go back to work, and I thought we would never get into this dream home of ours. My husband and I had to keep the faith that He was providing even in these crazy hard times. We did finally move into our dream home, though. It has been a little over a month now and things are starting to settle down.

This week, the curriculum FINALLY came and we were very excited!! We even transformed the "dining room" into a wonderful, colorful homeschool room! So, yesterday was the kids' first day of school! We have a first grader and we are starting preschool with my middle child. I was so nervous to see how it would go (especially with a toddler running around.) Let me tell you, it was AWESOME!!

We had chose Sonlight curriculum and couldn't be more excited! I love all the books that came and it was really easy to get started. I was so relived not to have to send her off to be with someone else and I got to see things click for her as we moved through the day! My preschooler even got to practice writing her letters and did some that I didn't know she could do!

The day got a little tense when my youngest wanted all of Mommy's attention but luckily my husband was home yesterday to swoop in and take him off my hands for a bit. I know this is going to be an adjustment for all of us for a little while until we get used to it. So for now, I will try and enjoy every minute of it!

My goal is to keep up on this blog for friends and family who are curious about homeschooling (obviously I am not shy about us doing it and love to share.) I never thought I would ever have kids, let alone stay home and homeschool! Haha, life is so funny sometimes but I have a great big God! I am willing to follow His lead on this journey and hope you will follow along too! Thanks for all of your love and support, I really couldn't do it without you all! : )

I have been avoiding my blog for a little while now. I apologize. I truly want to use this blog to provoke positive thoughts. I don't believe I can accomplish that when I can't even be positive thinking myself. But, here I am! I am feeling well enough to write again and can share what has been going on in my life.

As some of you know, I have something called social anxiety. Let me explain it a little more for you. Most people get nervous when they have to go in front of an audience or do something for a large group of people. This is not me. I have found over the years, my anxiety stems from social interaction on the most basic level. I struggle with one on one confrontation with people I don't know, sometimes even people I do know. Yes, I know a lot of people have a hard time with going up to someone new and just start talking but my nervousness goes beyond just that. One of the biggest things I struggle with is phone calls. I don't know what it is about calling someone but I just can't do it. Even if I know the person, I won't call. Even if I know the person calling, I won't answer. I also have a hard time going anywhere. I get anxious even when I know every person that will be at the place I am going. Sometimes I send myself into an anxiety attack but most days I pray hard and God gives me some peace to do what needs to be done.

These are just a few examples of what I deal with on a daily basis. Since I have kids now, the anxiety has gotten stronger. Especially now that I stay at home with the kids. I am now the responsible one that has to take care of my family and some days are just plain difficult. Sometimes I put off making a simple phone call for months at a time (which usually just gets me in trouble.)

Holiday season is now here and that proves to be the hardest time of the year for me. Please don't get me wrong. I love my family and friends! I love being able to see them and gather with them. However, to do so, sends me into an attack every time. Most people can't understand exactly what I deal with (or my husband deals with for that matter) and can't understand why. That's okay. I try and explain up front to new people I meet and sometimes I have to remind people that have been in my life for a long time about my anxiety.

This is also a good time to state that I try super hard not to use this as some sort of crutch either. I have a life and I will continue to do so. Let me also say, I put my hope in God. For He is the only one who has proven to give me relief and peace. From very early on, my husband and I decided that loading me up on medication was out of the question. So I have turned to prayer. When I feel an attack coming on, I stop and pray. I meditate on what God is trying to tell me in that moment. Also, I want to use my life for Him and how can I do that when I let my anxiety stop me from doing something that is God's will for me?

Want an example of how God works in my life? One day while coming out of a local grocery store, I could hear the Holy Spirit talk to me. I was pregnant with my third child and also had my youngest with me at the time. We were walking to our car and noticed a woman hunched over her car with the hood up. She looked like she needed help. Normally in a situation like this, I tend to stay clear, especially when I have my children and by myself. That's when I heard God telling me to ask this woman if she needed help. I tried to ignore it but knew I couldn't and knew I needed to obey. So I put my child in the car with the groceries and went over to ask the woman if she needed help. It took every bit of the Lord's strength for me to do that and believe that none of it was my own! Thankfully, she did not end up needing help (not that I would have be able to, as I lack in car skills) but I knew I had listened to my Lord.

Call me crazy (you probably just might) but I love the way the Lord uses me. Not every situation is easy. There have been plenty of tears shed out of fear and doubt in myself. But I never doubt my Lord! I know he has a plan for me and I intend on obeying. I often wonder, would I be able to continue my faith while being tortured or burned for what I believe in? I honestly hope that opportunity never comes. Instead, I will continue my small feats of over coming my anxiety to do God's will.

Today, I ask that you open your heart and mind to hear God speaking to you in your own life. What does He ask of you? What does He want for your life? Where does He want you to be? If you let Him, He will change your life!

I had a dream last night that put a little spark on my heart this morning. The dream wasn't really important so much as how the dream made me feel. It took me back to high school days. Not that I particularly had a difficult high school experience but the way I felt in high school was horrible most of the time. It wasn't until I met my husband I knew why. 

When I met my husband, we fell in love almost instantly (although we were very stubborn to admit it at the time!) From that moment on, I knew I would give that man my whole heart. Little did I know, he would give me his as well.

Sorry, I don't mean to get all mushy on you so suddenly but he was honestly the first person to ever love me the way he does. He was the first person to choose to love me through all my faults and failures. He chooses everyday to stand by my side and lift me up with unconditional love and support.

This is something I never felt in high school. I was always depressed on some sort of level and never really understood my purpose in life. I have always felt this way since I can remember. After the death of a close friend freshman year, I even tried to take my own life.

Actually, I tried to take my life again shortly after that. They had loaded me up on "happy" pills to correct my dis-functioning brain, so the bottle of prescription pills were so readily available to me. At that moment, I took a second to pray. I asked for Jesus to help me and give me a clear sign on what to do. I had always been a "fan" of Christ Jesus but let me tell you, this was the day Christ changed my life. I could NOT get that pill bottle open! It was a simple child-proof top just like any other, but greater forces beyond me was stopping my hand from opening that bottle! I told the Lord that day, that second, that I would follow Him the rest of my days and I would never try to take my life again. 

It wasn't an easy task after that. I switched to a Lutheran school and tried to fit in. Looking back now, I don't think I ever really did. On top of that I had gotten involved in bad relationships that seemed to be on repeat. Although I never tried to commit suicide again, I thought of it often. I could never shake the feeling that I had no purpose. Until I met my husband.

We met the summer of my graduation and within months I was pregnant with our first baby girl. Although this is a story in itself, I'm not going into any more detail about that now. A few weeks after my 19th birthday, I became a mommy! Between the love of my husband and that baby girl, I have found my purpose!

It's so funny how God puts people in your life when you least expect it. I never knew I could be loved like that until my husband and now, even more, loved like that from God! It is truly the most perfect feeling; a sense of being complete. That is why I dedicate my life to sharing the gospel of the Lord because it is truly through Jesus in which I was saved. I will keep serving Him with my life, as I will my husband.

Hi all!! Me again! Trying something new today and tried a video! Please don't mind the dark circles under my eyes and the lack of hair styling! haha! I hope you all enjoy it. Leave a comment of encouragement! Thanks : )

Hi all! Welcome back to my blog! I've taken a week off from posting due to illnesses in the family. This past week we have dealt with a fussy baby that refused to nap, sore throats, body aches, and last but not least, my birthday girl got an ear infection! We had a few restless nights and lots of exhausted days. The kiddos went in today for a wellness check and everything seems to be going back to normal, which is really good for this momma! Since it was such a rough week, I have not been able to finish my book yet and the project has been put on hold for the moment.

Even though I haven't been able to start, Seven, I have continued with my donating. I even found a local woman who helps the homeless here in my hometown!I am finding I that I have a heart for helping out those that don't have as much as most.

While I think this is great, I want to do more! It has been so difficult with the kiddos to find time for everything my heart wants to do. I would love to start a ministry at my church for the needy but I am just finding it too difficult to juggle too much with these kids at home. Last week was a good example of that! Just when I felt like I had gotten stuff figured out, one gets sick and takes us all down with him! Now a week or so later, I am finally feeling back to par.

Since I have been so busy with the sick kiddos, we haven't gotten together to discuss the book yet and I feel like it has been put on the back burner for now. I hope you all are not too disappointed! I do, however, encourage you to keep reading your books at home and find things that you can do yourself!

Sorry this post is not as encouraging as I would like it to be, but please bare with me. Next week will be better! : )

Sunday:

Today is my favorite day! Although it takes forever to get me and three kids ready for church in the morning, I LOVE this day! I love going to my church. I love seeing all the people at my church. I love a good sermon and great music. I love Sundays!

Also another plus, I got my book today! For those of you just tuning in, I am about to go on an amazing journey through the book, Seven, by Jen Hatmaker. I just sat down to get a little taste of the book this afternoon and let me tell you, I am terrified! In a good way, of course, but none the less, terrified!

The first month is food. She picks seven foods to eat for a whole month, with only a little salt, pepper, and olive oil! While her food choices look like wise ones, I am still terrified. I tend to really enjoy food, plus I am still nursing my 3 month old baby. Something that terrifies me more than my own food satisfaction, would be my milk supply taking a hit.

Anyone who has tried to nurse or has nursed (or has known any mother who has nursed,) should know that it is hard work! You have to consume a ton of calories to keep up a good supply for baby and keep up enough of your own body fat to supplement nutrients when needed. Any kind of diet change can alter breast milk and supply. Now let me take this time to state, I love to nurse! I think breastfeeding is one of the best bonding experiences a mother can have with their baby. I am in no way looking to quit any time soon. In fact, I plan on nursing till at least the first year of my baby's life.

So, I hope you can understand how truly terrifying this is for me. But I know that there are many mothers around the world that nurse their babies with a lot less than I am blessed with everyday. That being said, I KNOW I can do this! But I may need a ton of support!

I will continue reading about Jen's first month and get back to more details with you all later but I just wanted to share a little bit of my own feelings while starting this book!

Have a happy Sunday!

So, here it is Saturday and I have not gotten my book yet. With two kiddos and a baby, it makes it really hard to want to just "run" anywhere. So I have my mom on the job to get the book for me. I'm hoping I can get it by the end of the weekend!

What makes me nervous the most about this upcoming adventure would have to be involving the children. Anyone with kids knows how hard it can be to get them to do anything that they might not like doing. The ages of my kids, five and three (baby doesn't count,) makes it even harder for them to understand any kind of change.

Even though there will be these challenges, I think that's what excites me most! My husband always says something like, "If its not hard, its not worth doing." Which always reminds me, again, how right he is! 


Let me back up for a second. The reason this whole idea has hit home so much, because for the last two or so years we have been trying to sell our home. For these last years, we have collected many new items and stored old items for the "new" house that we are anticipating. This has created a lot of issues for us. One, we have put all our hope in getting a new house that we have intensely focused on it, ignoring other things. Two, we have invested in a huge storage unit costing us $100 a month! We have banked so much into the idea of having "more" house that we have put aside being thankful for this wonderfully warm house we already have. This has created a lot of stress and pressure on myself. I wanted a bigger house so badly for us! I've prayed and prayed over it. Then things started happening that has opened my eyes to the fact that it is just not in God's time yet.

The first thing to happen to us was back in February. My husband had an unexpected seizure in front of our girls and a 6 month pregnant, me. It was a horrifying experience that led to the absence of his job for a total of 5 months. It took all of our savings and more to stay a float during that time. Thankfully, our church family was very supportive and encouraging to us! During that time we also had baby number three! Talk about stress!

So here we are, late October, and our realtor calls to give us more bad news. Our house has had no new "hits" in over ten days and she thinks it would be best to take the house off the market through the holidays and early spring. Since I have been praying to God about what to do, I felt like that was a clear sign from Him to listen and take our house off the market.

I feel very defeated but at the same time I feel relief. I want to listen to God's timing and follow His plan, so I know this is the right choice. I am listening and am going to be obedient!

Now we have to deal with the storage unit and all our excess stuff that we were going to take with us when we move. I do not want to keep paying this fee for things we might not even use for an other year or however long it takes to move! So my options are to sell all the things we have, or I can find good homes to those who need them more than we. I have chosen the latter. And let me tell you, its addictive!! So far we have gotten rid of our queen size bed frame, which has created a lot more room in the bedroom! Plus I have given away a baby swing we had no room for and have donated a ton of clothes! Its taking some time to organize and find people who are in need but I am loving it! No more stress of a garage sale (pricing, storing, taking time to sit outside, wait for people to come, and trying to deal with the kids at the same time.) I am loving it! Yes, we may need the extra money but a few hundred dollars will be gone so fast that we won't even remember where it went! Whereas giving away everything contains a much greater joy that I won't soon forget! I encourage you all to try it and see how much better you feel!

That leads me to where I am at today. I have realized just how truly blessed I am to having a warm house with all my children and loving husband in it! I know that our love will carry on, whatever our monetary circumstance may be. I am starting to realize its truly not things that make me happy at the end of the day. This is why I am so excited to challenge me and my family!

Thanks for reading, today's post was a little long!

  

Hello!! Welcome to my blog! This is my first time blogging but I look forward to letting you all in on a bit of my life! I am starting this blog because I feel the need to share my story with others for encouragement. Also, I am about to dive into a new book called, "Seven" by Jen Hatmaker and would love to include you all on my journey!

A little bit about myself. I am a younger mother of three, I have a 5 year old girl, (almost) 3 year old girl, and a new baby boy of just 3 and a half months! Today is my husband and I's four year anniversary and I love every minute of my life with him! We are devoted young Christians trying to live a Godly life and try to spend each day thankful for the blessings God has given us! I'm sure you all will get to know me a lot more through this blog and hope that I get to know some of you too!

Like I said, I will be starting a new book, Seven, as soon as I get my copy! I encourage you to look up the book and take a look at what is all about! I hope that you can also take a leap of faith and join me! The book looks at the areas in our life that has excess. Her seven areas are: Food. Clothes. Spending. Media. Possessions. Waste. Stress. She spends thirty days focusing on one area at a time and shedding the excess out of her life!

Click Here to check out the book!!

I heard about the book in my bible study class and it really hit home for me. I really would love to challenge myself and my faith by following this book. I think it will be interesting to see what excess things are in my life and what I might be able to live without. I'm hoping it will be an eye opener for my family and we learn many things from it.

So that's it! That is why I am here! Please follow along with me as my family and I take this leap!